Build Yourself a Really, Really Good Vocabulary (of words!): Mr. Long's College Prep Series
Use Numbers...To Do Math: Mr. Long's Advanced Placement College Prep Series
When I Squint Really Hard I See a Bunch of Screwed Up Colors: Free Verse
When I Try to Write Free Verse I often Lose Focus and Write About Whatever's in Front of Me (like this kitchen table...which really needs to be wiped down): More Free Verse
What Was I Talking About Again?: More Free Verse
My One-Night Stand with the Hilton Sisters: a tell-all memoir with forty pages of photos (short-listed for the 2012 Man Booker Prize)
My Confession About My One-Night Stand with the Hilton Sisters: The Boring Truth (Man Booker Prize since rescinded)
My One-Night Stand with Ed McMahon's Stinking Corpse (short-listed for the 2015 Please Dear Lord No More award)
Inner Suburban Soldier: Navigating the Streets of No Starbucks
1,001 Cliches they Haven't Turned Into Movie Titles Yet (and "If You're Not Part of the Solution, You're Part of the Problem" is Number 216)
42 Dumb Teenage Catchphrases They'll Probably Turn Into Movies (and "I'm Just Sayin" is Number 2)
Me at my book-signing tour, in 2021
