Intelligent, strong-willed twelve-year-old girls are really, really annoying.
When playing Quidditch, just look for the Golden Snitch and grab it. The rest of the game is pointless.
Hogwarts students can't be all that bright, or they would have caught on to all the hilarious jokes you can make out of "grab the snitch, Harry!"
If you're meant to do something really impressive and worthy, like fly on a broomstick and win a match, or fight an evil wizard, you'll be good at it right when you start.
Quirrell is the bad guy, not Snapes. Why? Because anyone wearing a turban is clearly not to be trusted.
The thing Hagrid brings to Hogwarts and hides under the three-headed dog is the Sorcerer's Stone. Hint: look at the book title.
Harold Bloom was right. JK Rowling can't write worth sour messenger owl poop.
