Production Notes from Henry V

Any actor worth a thimble full of talent will tell you the process of blocking is long and cumbersome, with many steps, starts, changes and revisions, all in the name of dramatic unity and engagement of the audience. My acting troupe might tell a different story.

Here's the original playbook for our performance today.

BARDOLPH: (Runs between the feuding Pistol and Nym, dives to the ground, rolls, spins back up wielding sword) Good lieutenant, good corporal, offer nothing here!

NYM: (Beats chest, strikes rapier pose) Pish!

PISTOL: (Double-flips from behind Quickly, somersaults towards Nym) Pish for thee, Iceland dog! thou prick-eared cur of Iceland!

MISTRESS QUICKLY: (breaks into hysterical weeping, elaborate pantomime of sorrow) Good husband, good corporal, put down thy swords!

NYM: (whips sword elegantly through the air) Will you shog off? I would have you solus!

PISTOL: (Back flip, tosses sword into other hand) Solus, egregious dog? O viper vile!

BARDOLPH: (executes a scissors-kick, drags blade across stage to produce a line to stand behind) By this sword, he that makes the first thrust, I'll run him up to the hilt, as I am a soldier.

Here's what we actually managed to do.

BARDOLPH: (trudges over to the lieutenant and corporal, standing there absently) Good lieutenant, good corporal, offer nothing here!

NYM: (scratches head, looks puzzled) Pish?

PISTOL: (fumbles with sword in belt, looks mildly irritated) Pish for thee, Iceland dog, thou prick-eared cur of Iceland.

MISTRESS QUICKLY: (raises an eyebrow) Good husband, good corporal, put down thy swords.

NYM: (sits in chair and nurses hangover from last night's premature celebration) Will you shog off? I would have you solus!

PISTOL: Solus...(steps backwards, bumps into Quickly) Ow! dammit Allison! Uh, solus, egregious dog? O viper vile!

BARDOLPH: (suddenly remembers he left his dorm room door unlocked and panicks) By this sword...I've got to go! (runs off stage)