Ways to Celebrate the Birthday of Shakespeare

It's April 23, and that means Bardolators around the world are celebrating Shakespeare's birthday. Of course, rather than read the plays, see the plays or do anything remotely connected to some of the greatest works of literature the world has ever seen, you could always do something else to honor the Bard's Day of Birth. Off the top of my head, you could--

• Give away your second best bed in your will.
• Dress up as a woman and fall in love with a man. Regardless of your own gender. Or personal preferences. Or dramatic logic or realism.
• Get into a bar fight with your professional rival and stab him/her in the eye. 
• Drink heavily and contract pneumonia. 
• Steal liberally from other writers.
• Order up a prostitute.
• Make some gloves. Sell them on eBay, if you have to.