Throughout the year, when working with colleagues, debating politics, or even paddling the waters of domestic bliss, I have had to resort to the best of what's been sung by the best musicians in order to embellish my points and win the occasional argument. I took the trouble to keep a log. I'm very sorry for taking time away from your game of Angry Birds. But it had to be said.
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TEAM LEADER: Look, we're all stressed out about this new project. But it's a work in process, right?
ME: In the words of Seventh Heaven, "It's better this way."
TEAM: (Long pause, bewildered stare)
ME: I'll leave you all with that thought.
BETH: (hands me stack of handouts) Here. Take the ones you need and leave me the rest.
ME: (after finishing count) In the words of the Black Keys, "I got mine."
BETH: (blank stare)
ME: I'll leave you to ponder the implications of that quote.
KIM: THIS IPOD IS GREAT! WITH THESE HEADPHONES I CAN LEARN NEW MUSIC WHEREVER I GO!
ME: In the words of Tupac Shakur, "Holla if you hear me, yeah..."
KIM: What? What did you say?
ME: I said, "Holla if you--"
KIM: WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
YOULA: I want those copies run off first thing tomorrow morning.
ME: In the words of Ella Fitzgerald, "I can't give you anything but love...baby..."
YOULA: (taps foot, stares at me evenly)
ME: (sheepishly) Yes ma'am.
TSO: Your comments about the Republican primary have some merit, but I think you need to consider the whole issue through the lens of true free market theory, not the quasi-model espoused by the neoconservatives.
ME: In the words of Kelly Osbourne, "Shut up."
TSO: Yes, well...
ME: (victory dance, miming of spiking a football, crotch-grab)
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