First date with my wife

April, 1996, at a Burger King in a small Midwestern college town

KIM: So...
ME: (obnoxious, with face full of french fries) What?
KIM: This really isn't what you promised when you asked me out.
ME: What? What the hell are you talking about?
KIM: Well you promised stimulating and energetic company...
ME: Which is what I am.
KIM: You hinted there might be dancing.
ME: (making dancing moves until running out of breath and having to take a rest)
KIM: And you promised at least I'd get a good meal.
ME: You totally did. By the way, you going to eat that second burger?
KIM: I'm a vegetarian...
ME: Oh.
KIM: Yes.
ME: Oooooohhhhhhh.... (dawning understanding)
KIM: Right. So now that we've cleared that up...
ME: So you're not going to eat it.
KIM: (stares levelly)
ME: Right?
KIM: ...No.
ME: Wicked. (grabs burger, shoves it in face) I'm going to split. Can you take care of the bill?
KIM: But I thought you already...
ME: No time to talk! See you next weekend, right?
KIM: Well...
ME: Bam. (runs out the door)